Nigel 
July 1st,2009Something strange happened after I started taking Fluoxetine (aka Prozac):the world began to shift from shades of grey to full colour,it became more sharply focussed,it sounded far less distorted.
Now obviously (or is it obvious?) there had been many times when the world had brightened and gained colour for a while,but never since childhood had this lasted for days or weeks on end.
Of course Fluoxetine is no miracle cure. It is not appropriate for everyone with depression because people are different and there are different types of depression. It doesn’t stop my depressive cycle but it does ease the down periods significantly. Now I can get on with an almost normal life most days in the year if I make the effort. It’s as if when my brain makes the world monochrome I now have the strength to appreciate shades of just grey. Some of the world’s best photographs are in black and white. Stephen Spielberg made one of his best films in black and white.
I’m not particularly promoting Fluoxetine. It’s just one of many prescription medicines that might help,and which should only be taken under competent medical supervision. I know one person who became unexpectedly suicidal while taking it,although we cannot possibly tell what caused him to nearly kill himself:there might have been a link to the medication,or there might have been a completely separate cause. I know another person for whom fluoxetine worked for a few years and then she needed to switch to something else;however some years later a switch back has worked. Our brains are weird and wonderful places.
What I am suggesting you think about if you suffer depression is this:with or without medication there are probably times when you can find the energy to flick that mental switch and appreciate life as it is right now,coloured or monochrome,blurred or sharp,sounding distorted or sounding great,hot or cold,rough or smooth,alone or lonely in a crowd. Even during my one suicidal episode there were moments when I could be happy about something. If only for a moment. And a moment is enough.
Monochrome will do. Life is great,and life in blurred monochrome can still be good if we let it. Keep trying. Every time you succeed it gets easier,and for me it has helped more and more.
