Nigel 
September 7th,2009
...I am a dog...I am a dog...I am a tough and ferocious dog...
Some people suggest that if we wish to boost our self-esteem we should keep making positive statements to ourself (preferably silently 
). The purpose is to bring our self-image up to a realistic level,and it can work. But there’s research suggesting that repeating statements to oneself like I am a talented and able person can be damaging.
The method is often said to depend on saying things that are personal (“I”),in the present tense (“am”),and positive (“talented”,“able”). There’s one extra requirement rarely mentioned:the statement must be something our subconscious mind can accept as reasonable. Even then there’s a risk.
When our self esteem is very low,and particularly if we’re depressed,even something clearly true can ring false inside. If this happens and we keep repeating the unbelievable we’re likely to feel even worse about ourselves. We’re saying something that ought to be true but currently isn’t. It knocks us further down.
An alternative approach is to sit down and list our achievements and what we are able to achieve when well. This may be easier with a friend who can guide our distorted reasoning to be realistic.
So let’s add another P:the things we say to ourselves need to be personal,positive,present tense,and plausible.
Now for the risk. In a recent post I mentioned the two types of self-esteem,and later gave some examples. Some people would be fine if only they didn’t artificially boost how they feel about themselves. If what you believe is so fragile that any criticism risks violence then maybe you should check what you say to yourself. It’s okay as part of using goal setting to phrase a goal in the present tense as if it has already been achieved –but only if the goal is practical and you are doing what is needed to achieve it. We have to be wary of lying to ourselves because believing such lies is as dangerous as disbelieving them.
Everyone is important. Each one of us is worthy of respect as a human being. Beyond that we need to realistically identify our strengths and weaknesses,work on both in different ways,and adjust our plans accordingly. Everyone has something at which they can achieve,some way they can benefit other people. The trick is to be realistic and logical –neither of which begins with P. Ah well.
And by the way,Mischief (our neighbour’s fluffy black cat) is very happy being a cat. He does not want to be a dog. He would however like to be young again.
