Nigel 
October 16th, 2009(teachers I remember with gratitude #4)
We called him ‘Kim’ after Kipling’s character. His surname was ‘Warwick’ but I cannot remember his real first name.
He worked as a clerk in a bank, and took pleasure and pride in his work. Why was he never promoted? I don’t know. He may not have wanted promotion. Maybe he cared too much about people. Perhaps it was the reddish scarring blotched across much of his face. Those of us who knew him no longer noticed the scars, just the warm human being. As a family man he owned an unremarkable semi-detached house on the cheaper side of our Bristol suburb.
I first met him when I joined the Cubs – now called Cub Scouts. There was a waiting list. Mum had put my name down years earlier. Then, shortly before I was old enough, there was a programme on TV about Cubs and she rigged things so I watched it. Naturally I got excited and asked if I could be a Cub. It was to be a major part of forming who I am now, and it was to introduce me to Kim who was Group Scout Leader but very much involved in working where needed with Cubs and Scouts; it was a long time before I cottoned on that he was in overall charge. He was just there when needed, happy to do any kind of job, and he was one of the few adults we felt at ease chatting with.
He once described how the father of a Scout had rung up and asked if he would talk to the son who was getting out of control at home. Father brought the son round to Kim’s home and asked if he could sit in “to find out how you do it”. He was not allowed to, and it’s sad he didn’t realise that his presence would distort the chat. Kim didn’t talk at us, he listened and we would chat as equals.
We just soaked in the rays of the setting sun, at peace, friends, maybe chatting
One of my fondest memories of growing up was when I was a Patrol Leader at our Whitsun weekend camp somewhere just outside Bristol. We were a small troop, which reduced the range of activities on offer but I think made the experience more enjoyable. There were just three patrols. Our tents were perched along the top of a gentle stream valley. That evening I think we’d had a camp fire, quite a small one, built from dead branches found nearby and chopped to size. Part of Scouting in those days was learning how to use a hand-axe effectively and safely. The fire heated up a dixie of milk which later provided cocoa as we sang our favourite songs, stuff like “Oh you’ll never get to heaven with a fat girl guide” and “Have you ever been to Wales where they brew the finest ales”.
Later the younger Scouts headed off to bed and we patrol leaders stayed sitting on the ground round the fire with Kim watching the sun set. We will have chatted but I don’t know what about and it doesn’t matter. Here was a man we respected tremendously who was one of us and at the same time a real adult. He was quiet and unassuming. He was happy to serve but able to lead. He wasn’t perfect, but he helped us all grow up to be better people.
In the previous post I chatted about what most people seem to think success is all about, and how it tends to fail. I’d like to suggest that Kim Warwick was an example of true success. He wasn’t rich, but he earned enough to look after himself and his family and never ever indicated he wanted more. He wasn’t famous, except to the people whose lives he touched. He had a little bit of power being in charge of our Scouts and Cubs, but he saw it as a valued responsibility and an opprtunity to serve. To my knowledge never did he misuse his power.
Let me try to express what I think makes a person successful in life:
- They have learned to be content with where they are and what they have at any given moment. They’re not forever waiting for something better.
- They know what really matters in life, and they know it’s not money or fame or power or…
- They respect each person they come into contact with as a unique individual.
- They are valued team members who work with people. Often they’re well able to accept a leadership role when appropriate and fulfil that role well, but they don’t value power except as a tool to use in benefiting others.
- They are humble. They don’t see themselves as anything special, but they use the talents, abilities and experience they’ve got.
- They have real friends as opposed to lots of acquaintances. Often, depending on their role in life, there are hundreds or even thousands of people who have been blessed by their presence and who would drop whatever they’re doing to help that person if in need.
- They aren’t dependent on the people round them or independent of everyone else, but interdependant. The help and are helped. They’re involved.
I don’t know many people like that, but am privileged to know and have known a few. To them, thank you so much for enriching our lives.
PS: have I missed anything significant from the list above? Oh, and to those of you who know him, yes of course Peter Jolly is another example.
This article is # 3 in the effective goal-setting series.
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