Nigel 
April 20th, 2010
Our town has many charity shops selling cheap but smart second-hand clothes. Whether or not you feel happy buying this sort of clothing for your family is just a matter of attitude. You don't have to be rich to be well clothed. You do have to be less concerned with the latest fashions or exact styles and colours. Happiness need not be about money, provided you have enough for the basics.
Yesterday I attended a ‘Child Protection’ course. It was good, clear, informative, helpful, and threw up one alarming oddity. This was one of the many statistics provided to give us a sense of the extent of child abuse in the UK. Most of the statistics were relevant, but one stood out.
Apparently 2.8 million children in this country live in poverty.
A horrifying statistic.
Until you check the current definition of poverty.
Poverty is defined as living in a family with less than 60% of the national average family income.
Right.
That’s a seriously unhelpful definition which risks bringing the rest of the data into disrepute.
It reminds me of when my wife, many years ago, worked part time as a Social Welfare Officer. She was sent on a training course, which was good. However after being told to observe signs of families living in poverty they were advised to look for such indicators as only having a black and white television. Well excuse me, she thought, but we only have a black and white TV and do not consider ourselves to be living in poverty. We just made the decision not to waste extra money on a colour set when what we have is fine and cash is fairly limited.
Happiness is all too often related to where we perceive ourselves to be relative to other people. A major world problem, and a growing one, is that modern technology shows people in poor countries how rich those of us are who live in more fortunate countries. This “causes” unhappiness. Clearly if your family has a low income relative to most in your country – say below 60% of the national average – you are at serious risk of feeling jealous, and as a result feeling less happy. But should happiness really be about relative income? Should a crude statistic like this be offered as an indication of child abuse?
No, I’m sorry, but happiness is not about how much money you have. Yes it’s nice to have spare cash, but it is not an essential for a happy life. We need enough food, clothing and shelter. We need to feel loved. It helps if there is a little to spare for luxuries such as a black and white television, but it’s not essential.
Some decades back I was struck by two families I visited in the USA. One lived in an affluent suburb of a wealthy city. They had colour TV, and back home in England I knew no one who had that. They had a dish washer. A what? I’d never even heard of a dish washer. Over dinner there was little conversation. After the meal Mum reminded one of the daughters it was her turn to stack the dishwasher. There was an immediate display of petulance. What an imposition, to expect her to stack the dishwasher.
The other family lived in a small wooden bungalow on the wrong side of a small town. The father worked at a manual job which he did not complain about. They split food for four between the five of us. It was a simple but adequate meal in a warm family atmosphere. As soon as we had finished the two children sprang to their feet, cleared the table and washed up. There was no doubt in my mind this was the happier family, and no doubt that their children were having a good childhood.
We’re now living on my pension, but I’m happier than when we had my salary as a teacher. I miss teaching, but I’m physically healthier and mentally far less stressed. We have the luxury of two cars – may have to sell one soon to reduce outgoings but that will be no real hardship now, just mildly annoying. We never have to worry about where the next meal is coming from. We’re careful about how we heat our home in the winter, but not anywhere near panic that we might not be able to afford heat. We’ve only had a few foreign holidays over the years – too busy paying school fees for the children – but that’s okay. Britain has a marvellous variety of scenery and atmosphere which we will never exhaust and the people speak our language. Okay so we’d like to go and visit friends in New England one summer and can’t afford to unless I place a book or two with a publisher, but that’s no reason to feel miserable.
Wouldn’t it be nice if the people deciding on such matters as a definition of poverty would turn their backs on trendy ideas, maybe go out and look at real life, and come up with sensible and helpful ideas for a change.
Hardly likely I know, but we’ll survive.
